5

My first day of the Systemic Movements master course. Follow your feet, body, arms and feel it flowing. Where are the movements going? My feet go and my head is still ‘on’. Why are they doing this, am I dancing well? How does it look? Suppose that or what if.

And there it is, BAM! The head hurts. Because I have no control, I couldn’t see what was happening. I was afraid of rejection or doing something wrong. Slowly I can surrender to the bigger picture. My body carries me. The assumptions I had about myself and the judgment, it’s softening, I can let it go. I felt myself becoming more and more free and my body feels it; I limited myself to move from and in freedom.

The theme was the birth, the mother and the earth. And there was Omma, she danced with me and didn’t reject me. Love flowed. The day before this master course I doubted the rejection she gave me and the doubt whether she is the one. I was done with it for a while and anger gave way. And now she gave something back. My body was shocked and felt; I can move from my own love. The hips loosened and my own love grew.

What an experience and insights. Soft power emerged.”